In the modern age of technology and the internet, pregnant women have at their disposal a wealth of information available (some good and some, well, not so good). Many women sign up for a weekly e-newsletter to give them up-to-date information about the growth of their baby and the physical symptoms they may experience throughout the pregnancy.

I didn't sign up for an e-newsletter, but regularly google to find out what's happening with baby and me this week. "__ (insert #) weeks pregnant" brings up about a thousand pages, so I usually read one or two of the first 10 to give me an idea of what to expect. The information is usually pretty consistent from one to the other, so I haven't really been too worried about any inaccuracies. Until today.

I'm 21 weeks today and the first site I read was from www.i-am-pregnant.com which suggested the following:

Some women also get strong cravings for foods. If you notice a craving for something unhealthy, you should contact your doctor. Cravings unusual things is known as pica. Some women crave cigarette ashes, charcoal, beer and other non-food items during this time.

The last time I checked beer was considered a normal food item - I believe drinks are included in the food category - and can normally be craved just like lemonade (my current favorite), milk, or even water.

And since when do cravings start at 21 weeks? I craved chicken nuggets in weeks 5-8; red grapes from 15-20; and lemonade for about the past two weeks.

(Olivia feeding one of the twins)

When I first arrived back in N. America in late April, the twins were about a week old and still in the hospital. Up until I arrived, my mom and my sister's husband were taking turns hanging out at home with Olivia while the other went with my sister to the hospital to feed the twins.

My arrival was great timing because Olivia needed someone new to hang out with since she was really starting to miss her Mommy. Although I wasn't Mommy, me and my suitcase full of presents were a nice distraction. During one of our afternoons at home together, she suddenly stopped playing and asked me:

"Auntie Mollie, do you have a baby in your tummy?"

I wasn't surprised at her question because she had been pretending to have a baby in her tummy ever since she understood what it meant that Mommy had had a baby in her tummy. Plus, her other auntie also recently had a baby, so this was a logical question for her to ask me. I'd even heard her ask my mom this question a few times.

Interestingly, this was still a few days before I found out I was pregnant so I really had no idea that I indeed did have a baby in my tummy (although I did realize it was a possibility). So I answered her with a question:

"Olivia, who puts babies in mommys' tummys?"

"God does," she responded.

"Should we ask God to put a baby in my tummy?"

"Okay," she answered. Then she looked at me kind of shyly and expectantly.

"Should we pray right now?" I asked her.

"Okay."

So I put her on my lap and said a short prayer asking God to put a baby in my tummy. It was only a few days later that I got to tell her that there was a baby in my tummy and that God answered our prayer. She thought that was pretty cool and now is really excited that there's a baby in my tummy too.

I wonder what she is going to do when my baby is born and there are no more babies in tummys?

I found out I was pregnant shortly after arriving in N. America to visit my family and help my sister with the twins. I was expecting my period to start the day I left and of course it never came. That was a Thursday. Brad thought it was too soon to take a pregnancy test so I promised him I'd wait until the weekend had passed before getting my hopes up.

Both of us were a bit skeptical that I could be pregnant because we'd only started trying a short time earlier. I'd been begging Brad for months to let us start trying prior to my 30th birthday and as an early birthday present, he consented. We both were under the impression that at my age *wink, wink* it should typically take a few months for a couple to get pregnant so we thought there was no harm in trying a bit earlier than we'd planned.

So there I was Monday morning lying in bed in the guest room of my sister knowing that there were two pregnancy tests waiting for me in the bathroom just across the hall. The agreement was that I'd call him Monday afternoon (with the time change, he'd be home from work in the Netherlands) and take the test while we were on the phone together. This was, of course, if my period hadn't started by Monday morning.

And of course it hadn't. So then I was in a difficult position and had to make a decision. It clearly says on the box that the results of this test would be most accurate if I completed the test first thing in the morning. I was worried that if I took it later in the day when I called Brad, it might not work. Then I'd really be wondering since my period is never late.

So I did what any woman in my position would do - I took a pregnancy test ALONE without phoning my husband. What other choice did I have? Boy was I nervous! My hand was shaking the whole time. It seemed like it took forever for the little "pregnant" message to pop up on the screen but as you can see in the photo above, it eventually did. As you can imagine, it was NOT exactly how I'd envisioned finding out I was pregnant with our first child. In hindsight, I could have taken a test before I left, but I didn't really expect to get pregnant so soon after we started trying.

Then, of course, I had to pretend that everything was normal and hang out with my family as if I didn't have any exciting news to share. They all knew that I was waiting until the afternoon to take the test so they didn't suspect a thing. Brad, however, was a different story.

When I called him and took the test again, he suspected right away that I knew since I didn't react to the news the way he thought I would. I'm not sure exactly what he was expecting, but it obviously wasn't the right reaction. Funny thing was, I was just as nervous the second time taking it since I half expected it to be negative. He was more than a little bit disappointed that I took the test "without" him, and at the same time was freaked out trying to absorb the new reality that we were actually pregnant. With all those emotions, it was hard to tell if he was even remotely excited.

Thankfully, Brad's forgiven me and gotten more used to the idea of having a baby. As the weeks pass and my belly gets bigger, I can tell that he's getting more excited. The subsiding nausea has definitely made it a lot easier for both of us to adjust to the changes in our life, but I think Brad's still a little freaked out about the reality of "the one-way street" (as he calls it) that we've embarked on.

Procrastination...

I've been procrastinating for too long to write this post. In fact, it has been nearly 10 weeks since I've thought about it - what I was going to say, how I was going to say it, when I should exactly say it. But this debate in my head has gone on for a ridiculous amount of time so I'll just say it:

I'm pregnant!

That was easy right? Not for me. I've had a hard time motivating myself to post any blog material since I felt like all the events in my life for the past few months are centered around the pregnancy and how I was feeling at the time.

And you'll be surprised to know that I'm actually 20 weeks along already. My reference to 10 weeks is the time since I've actually been home in the Netherlands and legitimately able to post. I would have posted this sooner except that it took us longer than expected to contact all of our direct family members to let them know of the news. (We thought it better to tell them by phone than for them to read it anonymously over the internet).

And I've been physically feeling wretched! It is almost like the last 10 weeks (or more) have been lost in time. There was a period there that I barely showered or got up off the couch. However, at long last the constant nausea and vomiting has nearly subsided. Some days I still feel like staying in bed, but more often than not I almost feel like my normal self again (except for a few other changes such as this seemingly "huge" belly and nothing to wear).

So I just wanted to say that "I'm back" and keep reading because I've got stories to tell about the month I stayed with my sister, the trip to Italy with Brad's brother Matt, the 4 weeks in the middle where I lived in my PJs on the couch, the trip to Germany with Brad's other brother and his wife, and more...

Happy 4th of July!

Even as an adult, the 4th of July is my favorite day of the year. I can only think of three times when I've been unable to celebrate the 4th with my family and friends at some sort of patriotic celebration. This year is one of those times.

My 4th of July memories start with our move to Lopez Island when I was nine years old. Lopez Island is the third largest of the San Juan Islands off of the Washington State coast. The Island's population was only about 1500 in the winter and nearly tripled in the summer with summer visitors and tourists. Lopez is reached by a 45 minute ferry ride from the mainland of Washington State.

The Lopez community organized a really great day of activities for the 4th that put most other cities to shame (including Lynden, which is a bit surprising because they're very patriotic the rest of the year). Even after my family moved off the Island to Lynden, we all went back to Lopez as tourists for the 4th to experience the festive, patriotic atmosphere and especially the two big attractions: the parade and the fireworks.

This is a description of a typical July 4th celebration on Lopez Island for my family.

The first and foremost event of the day was the parade which usually began at 11am. The parade started a couple of miles down the road winding itself along the scenic Fisherman's Bay Road into the village which would be lined with tourists and locals specifically gathered to watch the parade. My family had a lovely waterfront piece of property in the village which was within a stone's throw of the end destination of the parade route.


Actually, the parade ended about 200 meters down the road at the local bank and so the parade passed right by our house before it dispersed. For many years, the parade judges sat on the lawn right across from our house which forced parade participants to be on their best behavior even at the end of the parade when they were tired and nearly out of candy.

My parents had an open invitation to friends and family to sit on our lawn to watch the parade and every year we had quite the gathering of people over to join in the festivities. My parents would put flags in the yard and set up a table with coffee and donuts. The weather would often threaten to rain, but in the 17 or 18 years that my parents lived on the Island, we can remember only one or two times when it actually rained during the parade.

The parade itself was an eclectic mix, reflecting the diversity of the population who called Lopez home. Nevertheless, as kids, we never really noticed the underlying political statements or messages that were demonstrated in the theme of the floats. All members of my family have participated in the parade at least once. I've personally walked the parade route at least 3 times: with the girl scouts, with the church advertising Vacation Bible School, and with my volleyball team.

After the parade was over, we'd clean up the front lawn and have a BBQ - sometime with another family or in later years, with our boyfriends/spouses. For many years we'd have friends from off-island come visit just for the 4th of July festivities, except in recent years when the ferry traffic became too bothersome, not to mention expensive. Getting off the Island on the 5th is probably the worst headache you'd encounter. We used to marvel at how long the ferry line up was every year.

One of the local Island groups - I can't remember if it was the Grange or the Lion's Club or something - would sponsor a Salmon BBQ every year to raise money for their group. Other Island events include the annual 4th of July "fun run" which was a 10km run or walk on a specific course on the Island, the Library annual book sale, and a variety of restaurants would feature local bands for live music throughout the day.

Keep in mind that all of these events were scheduled around the parade since the whole Island basically stops to watch the parade. If you weren't at the parade, you were missing out because it drew a huge gathering of locals, tourists, and ex-locals who'd come back just to see everyone they knew - it was common for those that had moved off the Island to come back for the 4th.

Another of our family traditions was to go to the local marina and walk on the docks admiring the boats that were tied up there. The marina was in a prime location because from there boaters could watch the fireworks display later that evening. And if you couldn't get a slip in the marina, you could moor your boat almost anywhere in the bay. So the bay was usually filled with a conglomeration of boats all angled towards the direction of where the fireworks would be fired off.

It was always fun to see which boat had sailed the furthest, who had the biggest boat, and which one was the favorite. The size of the yachts were amazing some years. Since we lived on the water close to the narrow mouth of the bay, all of these boats had to sail past our house to get out into open water. Many of the boats parked in the marina would be ones we'd come to recognize over the years. One such boat was called the Nancy Ann and it had a seaplane on its top deck and an impressive power boat as its dingy. It was always fun to marvel at it up close.

As I mentioned, the other big event of the day was the fireworks. The fireworks are renowned throughout the state as being extremely well done, especially considering the modest population of Lopez. Again, my parent's prime real estate provided a great place to watch the fireworks. The same crowd that joined us for the parade would often come back to watch the fireworks from our yard as well. We'd all cuddle in blankets out in the cold waiting in anticipation for the fireworks to begin.



During our last 10 years on the Island, my dad volunteered for the local fire department and was assigned on duty down at the site where the fireworks were being launched. The fire department had an ambulance and at least two fire trucks on site to prevent any brush fires from igniting as a result of the fireworks display. Thanks to Dad, we had an "in". The hose truck not only provided a soft place to sit, but the location was probably the best view of the fireworks on the whole Island. We were pretty lucky to have our dad in the department for so many years.

The fireworks display lasted about 30-45 minutes and had an amazing finale at the end. The location where the fireworks were launched was on a narrow spit connecting one part of the Island with another to make up what we know as Fisherman's Bay. The road would be blocked off at either end and the fireworks would be launched straight up over the water. The boom from the fireworks would be so loud as it echoed over the water. And the reflection on the water really added to its magic.

So as you can see, when my parents finally moved off the Island and discovered that Lynden barely celebrated the 4th at all, it took us only one missed Lopez 4th before we decided to go back and rent a cabin with our whole family just to be part of the festivities again. It cost us an exorbitant amount of money to get on the ferry and rent the cabin, but we couldn't bear to miss out on the fun. Plus, as I mentioned, it was a great time to see all of our old friends.

This year my family is staying in Lynden and having a BBQ with friends. Since the birth of the twins, Meg and Jason are definitely unable to make the trip, fight the ferry, and spend all the money. And my parent's wouldn't go without them. What I do know is that we wish we could be back on the Island together this year if it were possible. And we look forward to the years ahead when we can resume our traditions for ourselves and our children.

Here are more photos and details about this year's events if you are interested in seeing more of what I'm talking about.

I've been in N. America for a week now helping my sister and her husband (Jason) with Olivia and the twins. I've been so busy and the time has passed so quickly that I've had hardly had a spare moment to sit down and blog or email.

I arrived last Thursday (April 26th) after a fairly uneventful flight. My plane was delayed 2 extra hours during my stop over in London (in addition to my scheduled 3 hour layover), but it actually went pretty fast so it seemed like we were in the air and landing in Vancouver in no time. And thanks again to Chris & Corina for picking me up at the airport and driving me to Lynden. That was a huge blessing!

Over the past week, I've been dividing my time between driving to the hospital and playing with Olivia so that Jason can do the same. The twins were born about weeks early, Evan at just under 6lbs, and Addison at 4.5lbs. For the first week they were hardly nursing at all due to their small size. My sister was really adamant that they nurse, so they were receiving her milk though an NG tube (through their nose). We were only allowed to hold them during the feedings so they could conserve as much energy as possible.

They are now two weeks old and have both broken their respective birth weights. In fact, they have made it to the next pound category (Evan at 6lbs and Addison at 5lbs). Since they are bigger and stronger, they've been nursing more regularly which means that my sister is at the hospital more often. She actually stays there at night in a "camping room" to do the night feedings and only comes home for a short period in the afternoon and evening.

This is hard on her because she sees that Olivia is having behavioral difficulties with her absence. Jason and I have been doing as much as we can to distract her and keep her busy, but having mama gone all the time is difficult. And since I've been thrust into the role of surrogate mommy to a three year old, I'm struggling to be adequate. My only consolation is that she loves me and we get along pretty well together.

The twins will be in the hospital for a bit longer as they are still getting the hang of nursing. My sister is trying all sorts of techniques to get them to feed better - nursing them together, nursing them separately - but it takes a lot of time and energy for all involved. They are so tiny that it is difficult to see them struggle. The doctors recommend that they should stay at the hospital until they can nurse every feeding really well. We are praying that my sister won't get discouraged and resort to bottle feeding.

Needless to say, it seems that we still have a bit of a long road ahead. Our hope is that the twins come home by Mother's Day. Y'all can pray for that. I've learned a lot in the past week of living at my sister's house with Olivia and helping at the hospital. It is good training for my future as a mommy and I've definitely got an accurate picture of all of the work that is involved. I want to say three cheers for all of the moms out there!

I'll try to update again soon, but my time is limited. I'm at Nana and Papa's now so I have a few minutes of spare time. Until then, keep us in your prayers. Thanks!

I mentioned last post that my new little nephew and niece were born last week. They are about 5 weeks premature, so they are spending a little extra time in the hospital before they can go home. As you can imagine, that means my family is juggling their schedules to spend time with the babies and give Olivia a sense of normalcy at home*.


Since my dad is still in Nevada working and I am still in Groningen, my sister, her husband, and my mom are taking shifts between the hospital and home. I think my dad and I feel a bit helpless as we count down the days until we get back there to help. I am going back on Thursday for about a month to help as much as I can, but in the meantime, I have a lot to finish up before I can head out.

In fact, right now I'm taking a little break from the hours of Dutch homework I've got over the next few days. Wednesday will be my last class although the course doesn't end officially for two more class periods. I have to finish up my last homework assignment and study for my last test to qualify for the certificate of completion. I haven't come all this way to miss out on that, but it means a couple of late nights between now and Wednesday morning.

Plus, we have only a few more days with our friends John and Suzanne who we've become close with over the past 6 months. John's basketball season ended abruptly on Saturday night when his team lost their playoff game. They are leaving on Thursday as well, so Suzanne and I have to have one last IKEA day and one last shopping day before they depart. It is a sad time for us especially since John's contract wasn't renewed in Groningen, and they will be be somewhere else in Europe next year. I am praying that God will bring me another Suzanne for next year.

Finally, as you can imagine, I have a few chores to do in preparation for departure. Brad will not be joining me in North America until mid-May, so there are a few things that I need to get ready for him such as toilet paper in the cupboard, food in the fridge, and clean clothing in the drawers. After that, he'll have to fend for himself.

And of course, I need to pack which is always a huge process when I'm going to be gone for so long. I've shared before that I find packing a bit troublesome especially since I'm going to be handling my luggage alone on this trip. Lugging heavy bags on and off the train is not my idea of a good time.

Needless to say, the time between now and my departure is moving along quite quickly! Which reminds me, I need to get back to my homework...

*As I mentioned, my family is quite busy shuttling themselves to and from the hospital. To make it easier on them, I was wondering if anyone had the desire and ability to pick me up from the Vancouver airport on Thursday evening and drive me to the border. It would make it a lot easier on them to drive a shorter distance. I get in at approx. 7:00pm, but could wait around longer if necessary. Send me an email or leave a comment if you are interested and able.